“The American people will never knowingly adopt Socialism. But under the name of ‘liberalism’ they will adopt every fragment of the Socialist program, until one day America will be a Socialist nation, without knowing how it happened.”

Socialist Party presidential candidate Norman Thomas


Thursday, October 29, 2009

Disasters and terrorist attacks now have prurient appeal

In my opinion, and I think I speak for all men, every urban, professional woman needs a bra that becomes a gas mask in a terrorist attack or building fire....

To use the bra-mask, the wearer unsnaps the brassiere from under her shirt, which breaks it in two. Because each cup has hooks on its side, the strap is wrapped around the head and hooked to the cup, which goes over the mouth. Bodnar said an experienced user can don the mask in mere seconds.

Once these things become common-place, guys will be pulling fire alarms all over town just to watch their co-workers yank off their bras and put the cups over their faces....and who could blame them?

It could be a new dating tactic: you see a girl you like at Starbucks, you set off a harmless smoke bomb, pull the fire alarm and yell, "terrorist attack!". Then when she yanks off her bra, maneuver to her side and cough so she offers you her other cup, you know(heh, heh) to save your life....what a great conversation starter! Pure genius! And even if she isn't interested in you after you take her bra off your stupid, grinning face, you're standing next to a hot, braless girl. There's no down side.

7 comments:

Joe Camel said...

This has to be from Beavis or Butthead! This is to good to be true. BTW what happens to the DD woman, does she have to share her cups with families. What about the A woman, does she have to use one as a filter and then the other to finish covering her mouth? Inquiring minds will want to know!

Bobby T said...

Is that Meryl Streep ? And It looks as though she is still wearing her bra under that black top. So now women wear 2 bras, the real one for support and seperation and the gas mask unit in case of an attack. Does it come in underwire? What about with lace? Does color effect the way it works, and thereby gets shared? what if it is stained? Many unanswered questions. This should be a big topic on the late night talk show circuit. She looks like a vaudeville performer standing there. "Nothing up my sleeve.... (or under my shirt)....

Ed said...

I think the point of the black, velvet dress is to hide the...ahem, details of her bralessness. Or you may be right, for demonstration purposes, she's wearing two bras. And this was taken from a serious news article though, I admit it could have come from The Onion.

Anonymous said...

If she's performing a burlesque show, she's doing it all wrong.

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